inspired by a conversation i had with @welcometothekanjiklub.

rey has a lot of feelings for kylo. some of them are good, some of them are bad, and a lot of them she doesn’t really know how to define. but she’s always managed to handle herself, so she tries to befriend kylo, at least.

he’s scared. a lot of his fear comes from the fact that he might hurt her, but most of it stems from the fact that their relationship, if any, might have horrible repercussions for the entire galaxy. but he wants to be with her, wants someone who understands his isolation and pain, and here she is trying to understand him.

so they take things slowly. definitely not romantic at first. rey doesn’t really have any boundaries. the first time she ever shows any indication of her feelings for him come in the form of little things. smiles, holding his hand, picking on him, that sort of thing. 

he isn’t used to it. physical affection is just as new to him as it is to her–as a child, no one was around to hug him when he cried, or to sing him to sleep after the countless nightmares, and as an adult he consciously deprived himself of it in order to make him darker–so when she touches him, it’s so much more serious for him than it is for her.

she doesn’t forgive him for his past mistakes, and he certainly doesnt expect her to–but she understands him, understands his pain, understands that he didn’t so much as turn his back on his family than react to feeling like he never had one at all. she knows what it’s like, knows what he felt, knows what it was like for him to find someone just like him on takodana.

he never, ever makes the first move. he’s too worried that whatever fragile relationship they have might come crumbling down, that he might drive away the only person in the galaxy who really gets him on such an intrinsic level, that when she kisses him he cries. and the best part is that she knows why he’s crying–she doesn’t ask him, doesn’t pressure him, just holds this broken behemoth of a man and lets him hold onto her like she’s the only thing in the world that matters.

to kylo, rey is the only thing that matters to him.